Did you know? :)

A third of Americans flush the toilet when they're sitting on it.

Everyone has a unique tongue print.

An average person laughs about 15 times a day.

A sneeze comes out of your mouth at 600mph.

A Saubian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee.

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he wears no pants.

Bubble gum contains rubber and whale fat.

The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in Jello.

Only 55% of Americans know that the sun is a star.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Spotted skunks do handstands before they spray.

Most cows give more milk when listening to music.

There are more plastic flamingos in America than real ones.

The world population of chickens is about the same as people.

Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.




Yeah, I know there isn't many, I couldn't be bothered okay D:

TICK TOCK.

Different-shades-of-blue-and-nothing-else-on-the-font-ftw:O
9 days :3
or 8.
I'm actually not sure. xd
Yesterday was awesome. <3
Yes Fliss, we're lucky we didn't get chucked out :P!
Joking.
It was funny:).
GUINEA PIGS!
I have too much homework D:
Sucks.
And George;
you haven't got any friends yeah?
Laters. ;)
xxxxx

Twilight New Moon and Icecream down my top!

I think today was one of the best days this year ♥ Me,Rebeccaa Burslam and Emily Coote making a twilight spoof loll. Funny...ppfft and then watching twilight, that was funny as. I don't think everyone else in the cinema wanted to know that icecream had gone down my top though or wanted to hear the the running commentary! 

Thank you for driving carefully through this village.

Thank you for driving carefully through the village.

Felicity Ribbit

Make sure they get your name Joke

Ian arrived at a very popular restaurant and he was dismayed to find it very crowded. Approaching the hostess, Ian asked, 'Will it be long?'

The hostess, seemingly ignoring Ian continued writing in her reservations book.

Thinking she had possibly not heard him the first time, Ian decided to ask again. 'How much time is the wait for a table?'

Looking up from her book, the hostess smiled and said, 'Oh, only about ten minutes. We will inform you when your table is ready.'

A short time later, Ian heard an announcement over the intercom system, 'Willette B. Long......... Willette B. Long, your table is ready.'

Bit Random - Careers may end in this way - Lol Rating 6/10

• Lawyers are disbarred.
• Vicars are defrocked.
• Electricians are delighted.
• Eastern diplomats are disoriented.
• Drunks are distilled.
• Alpine climbers are dismounted.
• Piano tuners are unstrung.
• Orchestra leaders are disbanded.
• Artists' models are deposed.
• Cooks are deranged.
• Dressmakers are unbiased.
• Nudists are redressed.
• Office clerks are defiled.
• Mediums are dispirited.
• Programmers are decoded.
• Accountants are discredited.
• Holy people are disgraced.
• Pastry chefs are deserted.
• Perfume makers are dissented
• Butterfly collectors are debugged.
• Students are degraded.
• Electricians are refused.
• Bodybuilders are rebuffed
• Underwear models are debriefed
• Painters are discoloured
• Spinsters are dismissed
• Judges are disappointed.
• Vegas dealers are discarded
• Mathematicians are discounted
• Tree surgeons disembark

Crazy Laws Still Standing!

             Crazy Laws By Felicity Ribbit

• It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament
• It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen's image upside-down
• It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store
• Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned in Britain <-- I'm in trouble :O
• The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen
• If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and needs the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter
• In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet
• It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing
• It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour
• In Trinity College students can demand a glass of wine at any time during an exam, provided they are wearing their sword
• It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow
• In England, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day <--- Really I think thats false but it sounded funny so I typed it up!
• In England it is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises [pubs, clubs and bars, restaurants] <--- It is you get arrested for being drunk and disorderly :O
• In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague
• It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses
• In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed
• In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk
• In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon
• Also in France it is illegal to kiss on railways in France
• Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London
• In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad
• In Scotland it is illegal to be a drunk in possession of a cow
• In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth
• In Massachusetts Christmas was outlawed in 1659
• In New Hampshire it is against the law to tap your feet, nod your head or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant or cafe
• In Oklahoma criminals can be fined, arrested or jailed for making faces at a dog (Barking Mad)
• In Germany it is illegal to wear a mask
• It is illegal for a student to walk through Trinity College, Dublin, Ireland, without a sword
• In Antwerp, Belgium, it is illegal to wear a red hat and walk down the main street
• In Israel picking your nose on Saturday is forbidden
• In Singapore failure to flush a public toilet after use may result in a very large fine
• In Australia it is illegal to dress up as batman